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Painted White

by Garrett Vazquez

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1.
there is a mob rule here in our school that tears up the place and screams in our face so i watch what i do, say and think everyday and stifle myself to coax them to stop i guess i don't know i guess i'll just go alone i guess i'll just go away the kings have been crowned and won't turn it down kill me please keep hanging around where we don't belong the glass on the ground that they left around here won't disappear for a number of days so watch where you walk thoughtless and slowed down now to a crawl the idiot loop of life that they've learned i guess i don't know i guess i'll just go alone i guess i'll just go away the kings have been crowned well i won't be around i'm dropping out
2.
you fell asleep while on the phone mumbling about being alone how no one cares what you're going through i see you're desperate to connect but you went down with the wreck now you're desperate for a single breath you're watching every other scene and coming to me in between with little notes that end up in the trash and i'm a part of every word a never ending mental bore and so you send me off to pull the cord i try to answer every call but fucking christ i need a break from every slight you think i'm supposed to take cos i can only dim the view of what you think is useful art i can't help you finish what you start
3.
well you kept too quiet for too long to keep them down now everyone fights for a spot to hang around but the curtain call that hounds us all is getting loud so take a bow kid before you fail to make them proud of you was a cold portrayal of someone's life you wish was yours that brought you to this final act that they'll ignore while they look around for social cues to laugh and cry and wonder if they should've known the answer is yes
4.
i walked along while knowing it was wrong the mind of a man in a scene when he's not where he's supposed to be i tried to pretend it was fine and carried on but she had a way to make it seem okay a beautiful girl who could sing but heartache is all it would bring it's true i was feeling so lonely, i'm alone i fell for this the same old way but now i want to say to you i found you out when i red through your history i lost my sympathy for you i lost myself you're the one who played a game but still the blame is on me you held a lie in front of me some fucking sight to see for you to keep me blind you said some things and had your way but now i want to say to you i fell for this
5.
don't you want to know how the process seems to go like a conscious move you make celebrating in a wake did you step into the scene where it came much too quickly but a drink and then you saw that a part of her was flawed the man with the motor skills said that maybe it's a trend but baby she's your friend tonight now you're a salesmen of a game and your pitch is just as lame but you're just a round away from the one you want to play and the voice in your head keeps repeating it maybe it's a trend but baby she's your friend tonight
6.
i'm on a track that's painted white and been snowed over every day so even with your holy light it's impossible to find my way so don't think you can change the things about me that you feel are strange i know you want to see a version of the person you think i should be the quiet dream i won't release has gone on long enough to see that i'm at war for inner peace and it takes up every part of me so don't think you can change the things about me that you feel are strange i know you want to see a version of the person you think i should be i'm on a track that's painted white and been snowed over every day
7.
counting the hours down in a dream watching past images stream through a reel that only plays right when i'm down and out and drunk in the night i don't really care but everybody wants everything to be perfectly framed when i'm done so that they can interject one by one leave me alone i'll be glad i'm on my own in my place in the world where i belong
8.
Karmic Cares 01:53
all of your friends and their karmic cares they got nothing to say cos they only ask what they're willing to know and then they fade away as long as i can on klonopin i'll take you out for a drive and call up your fate cos we're taking a risk to see who stays alive
9.
I've got a lot of bills to pay and I don't need you in my way you make me want to live some different kind of life but I've stayed here cos of you You've got a lot of nerve to say that I'm wasting all of my time I guess to you It's just an empty maker's mark that I shattered in the dark Haven't I been good and said the things I should how did I get put here in my place while you cry We're holding out our hands to grab anything we think might be left I'll keep a candle lit and hope that you'll forget I love you yours, goodbye
10.
Own Me 03:58
most likely never be what i want to see and it hurts on and on and takes so long i'm sending down another one and counting off until i'm done the sky's been dark so long now i could be wrong but i don't see that there's anything in me and i've been working so damn hard but i can never get too far don't tempt me i'm empty so the things you see are a joke and i've been taking all i can so if i'm lying on the ground with everyone i keep around own me i don't want to leave cos you're the only one i want to see and all of the colors adjust to blue and green we'll be the only one's we've ever seen own me i don't want to leave cos you're the only one i want to see and all of the colors adjust to blue and green we'll be the only one's we've ever seen
11.
god it's only 10 pm one more drink then meet her friends lonely walking just to live for the feeling that she gives it's just the way it ought to be the pool for drunken memories is over flowing civil servant to the state of her mind and of the rate mayor says it's been decreed by us universally pail kid against the broken light that used to make everything right been replaced by her
12.
Fast Asleep 02:19
everyone knows about how you keep us all in doubt of your ability to rise above your faults we know you won't but say you will so go and take another pill for some shit you're told will kill you if you don't doctor wrong and his army strong chart the path that you walk along so head back home everyone's got a place to be so don't expect some kind of courtesy when you're stuck back home you've got a lot to go around but keep it locked up under ground with a loaded gun directed at your will give in

credits

released September 10, 2014

Written, recorded and produced by Garrett Vazquez

Michael Kasal - piano on "own me" and "counting the hours" Bass on "counting the hours"

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garrett vazquez Saint Paul, Minnesota

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